SUPPRESSING TRAUMA

Trauma appears to be a trigger word for some. Some think it doesn't exist, while others think people should just "get over it", after all we allllll have some form of trauma. But it's not that simple. PAIN HAS A VOICE.

Sometimes it's loud and chaotic. Sometimes it whispers in the quiet moments before bed. Trauma doesn't just disappear because time passes! It lives in the body. It hides in triggers. It shows up with startle responses, overreactions, shutdowns, anxiety, anger or detachment. IT WEIGHTS and IT WAITS.

And when the weight of it feels unbearable, we look for relief.

Alcohol.

Drugs.

Lust.

Anything that promises silence.

At first, it feels like mercy.

The drink softens the edges. The high blurs the memories. The lust masks the racing thoughts. The ache in the chest loosens it's grip. For a moment, you don't have to feel the grief, the betrayal, the violation, the abandonment, the fear. You're free, or you think you are!

But here's the truth no one tells you... numbing doesn't only numb the pain.

It NUMBS EVERYTHING.

It numbs joy.

it numbs connection.

It numbs clarity.

It numbs conviction.

It dulls your ability to feel love AND LOVE deeply because love requires vulnerability, and vulnerability feels too close to the pain you're trying to avoid. It mutes your intuition. It quiets your inner voice that's trying to guide you toward healing. It disconnects you from your own body!!

The trauma doesn't leave. It justtt waits and watches.

And the more we avoid it, the stronger it demands to be felt.

Unprocessed pain ends up leaking into relationships. Into mood swings. Into defensiveness, control issues, isolation. It shows up in the ways we push people away before they can hurt you. It shows up in the ways we cling too tightly because we're afraid of being abandoned again.

Substances feel like control. But they actually quietly take it!

What starts as "just taking the edge off" slowly becomes dependency. Not because you're weak, but because your nervous system is desperate for relief. Trauma dysregulates the body.... alcohol and drugs temporarily regulate it. That's why it's so powerful.

But temporary relief always sends a bill and you eventually gotta pay up!

The crash.

The regret.

The deeper anxiety.

The worsened depression.

The nightmares & sleep disturbances.

The shame spiral.

Now, you're not only carrying the weight of the trauma, you're carrying the consequences of how you coped with it!!

Healing is harder than numbing. It's slower. It requires more effort, MORE HONESTY. It requires sitting with feelings you're uncomfortable with, that you've been running from for years. It requires honest convo's, therapy, grieving! Admitting what hurt you! And forgiving yourself for how you survived it!

Feeling is not the enemy. Feeling is the doorway.

When you allow yourself to process pain instead of silencing it, something powerful happens. The pain begins to move. It stops being stuck energy and starts becoming understanding. It becomes wisdom, compassion and strength. You stop being scared of who you are and where you came from, and even start to realize that maybe it wasn't your fault!!!

You don't need to erase what happened to you to heal from it. You just need to face it honestly.

There's nothing wrong with wanting relief. That's what makes us human. But real relief isn't found in a bottle or in a temporary high. REAL relief comes when your nervous system learns it is no longer in danger. When your body realizes the trauma is over. When your mind no longer has to fight the ghosts. When you take your power back!!

Numbing is survival... healing is freedom.

❤️ILY