THE MAN IN THE MIRROR

One of the hardest things for me to accept is that you can't heal other people.

No matter how much you love them, how deeply you understand their pain, or how clearly you see the patterns they're holding onto, you just can't fix what's not yours to fix!!

You can speak the truth. You can hold space for them. You can reflect on what you see. You can PRAY that their eyes, ears and heart be opened to receive your love and words, but at the end of the day, healing is an inside job! No amount of advice, encouragement, or rescue attempts can replace someone's own decision to face themselves.

They have to WANT a better life for themselves and they have to be willing to look in their own mirror and moreover, they have to do the very hard, grueling work to change!!

I am a fixer, I want everybody to just be ok!! It's painful for me to see value in someone who doesn't see it in themselves!! I want everybody to see what I SEE IN THEM, and I always want to do more to help than I should. But sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing.

You can remind them of who they are. You can let your love be steady. You can let your presence be known and real, but you can't change what they're doing. And that truth just plain ol' sucks!! Especially when you know deep down they could live freer, love better and rise higher.

You can give someone all the insight in the world, insight is a gift, but if they're not ready to receive it, it will just turn stale. That doesn't mean your words are wasted though. Sometimes what you say today get's buried under their little pile of crap, but that crap can sometimes be their fertilizer 🤷‍♀️. It might take months or even years, but eventually it WILL take root and grow. You might not be the hero in their story but as long as you're part of their path, sometimes that's enough.

So if you deal with this in your life, keep your heart soft. Don't cling to an outcome. Don't take their choices personally (even tho this is incredibly hard). And most importantly, don't let your own journey get delayed while trying to carry someone else's burdens.

Love them. Speak truth. Pray. And then let go.

Their healing is between them and God. And healing doesn't just come from hearing the truth once, it comes from a decision deep inside to stop running and to sit with the hard stuff. It can't be forced and you can't do it for them, no matter how much you want to!

And by the way, the reason I know this is because I've lived it and if I'm being honest, I still do!! People still try to tell me, "that's a mistake, don't do it" and what do I do!? I do it anyway lol. That's just how it goes sometimes 🤦‍♀️. When I was in my darkest days I had people constantly trying to save me, trying to get me to see the light!! But ultimately it was up to me!! It might have taken years and a lot of pain in between, but I am forever grateful that people believed in me when I couldn't believe in myself.

So if you're a fixer, like me, it's time to let go and let God. I know that's cliché, and some days I would swear He ain't hearing me at all!!! But I cling to Matthew 17:20, "if you have faith as small as a mustard seed you can say to this mountain 'move from here to there,' and it will move"... and sometimes that's enough to get me through.

Stay rooted in faith, even when it's almost impossible to believe. Live in truth, stay soft and humble and trust that when they're ready, they'll remember what you showed them by how you lived and they will be better for it in the end!!

ILY❤