LOVE AIN'T A HALLMARK CARD

I know I'm always writing something about love and it's probably weird coming from a single person, but trust me when I say I've had plenty of years to study it lol!! So here is another one :) ...

We toss around the word love almost as much as we say hello. We say it to our friends, our partners, our family... sometimes only out of habit and sometimes with full meaning and emotion behind it. But the truth is, love isn't always soft and sweet!! It's not always about making someone feel good in the moment. REAL love, the ride or die kind, the kind that heals and helps someone grow, can be uncomfortable! It can sound a lot less like a hallmark card and a lot more like a wake up call!!

Sometimes, loving someone means not saying what they wanna hear but what they need to hear!

That doesn't mean being harsh and cruel, although sometimes it might come out that way! It doesn't mean tearing someone down. It means caring enough for that person to have the courage to be honest, even when the truth hurts. It means choosing their long term growth over short term comfort, because you SEE what they're capable of!! It can be extremely difficult sometimes, especially when you know someone may not be ready to hear it!! I KNOW from experience... I've hurt some feelings, had some break ups and down right pissed people off in the midst of loving them!! But it doesn't mean it didn't come from a good place.

Love isn't about being liked 100% of the time! It's about being trusted. It's about realizing that someone has your back no matter what, even when the message isn't well received.

It's the one who tells you to stop self-sabotaging, or stop drinking so much (or using). That challenges you when you're playing small!! That calls you out on your lies. It's the person who sets hard boundaries and maybe has to distance themselves for a while when they see that person spiraling out of control, because they refuse to listen!! It's those people who truly believe in you and have your best interest in mind, always!

I know it's also hard to receive that kind of love! It's real easy to say you want honesty and accountability, until someone you care about holds up the mirror. Our pride gets loud, our emotions get strong and our feelings get tender. But if we can take a second to stop and listen (and not run from it or shut it out), that's where the growth starts.

Real love isn't sugarcoated. It's rooted in wanting better for someone, not just in who they are today, but in who you know they can become! Because you SEE who they are at their core and you want them to see it too!!

So, if you've got people in your life who love you like that, who tell you the truth even when it's hard, cherish them!! Because they're rare these days! Everyone just want's to feel the warm and fuzzies all the time and the minute you say something they don't like they start screaming the two T's, "triggered and trauma". I'm not saying trauma isn't real, I'm just saying that not everything is that!!! And if you love someone, reallllyyy love them, whether it's a friend, co-worker, family member, or a romantic partner, be brave enough to be that kind of voice for them too!

Because love isn't just about getting through the easy days. It's about walking through the messy and uncomfortable parts too and reminding them they're not alone!!

Everybody needs somebody to believe in and also needs to be believed in!!! Be that person!!!

❤ILY